Part Two: Grades For Parent Attendance
BY MEGHAN VANCE • December 19, 2023
In part one, we discussed questions parents should ask before deciding to attend student music lessons. In this article, we’ll focus on how frequently parents should attend lessons. Guidelines are by grade, as grades are often a better indicator of maturity than age. However, it is important to know your student: their level of maturity and motivation can help you determine if you should attend more or less frequently than suggested.
Guy McPherson, in his article “The Role Of Parents In Children’s Musical Development,” writes that “high-achieving students are not necessarily innately talented or ‘clever’. Rather, they work harder and with more self-regulation than their less accomplished peers.” He goes on to comment that “…parental involvement helps to facilitate the self-regulatory processes needed for children to eventually take charge of their own learning.”
Barbie Wong, speaker for the Davidson Institute, notes that “Practice is an evolving process and thus you must keep learning to help children at each stage of their music development.”
THE PARENT’S ROLE DURING GRADES PRE-KINDERGARTEN – 1
Once your student can recite the alphabet, count to ten, and sit for ten minutes, they should be able to handle music lessons, given your support. In the lesson, parents may need to help the student learn to respect the instrument, their parent, and their teacher, in addition to learning the skills of listening and following instructions. Parents should also understand each of the teacher’s instructions, because at home the parent will need to instruct the student. At home, behaviors can be reinforced by following the same “music rules” during practice as in lessons (staying on the bench, i.e.).
THE PARENT’S ROLE DURING GRADES 2 – 5
McPherson writes that “The more children perceive themselves as competent, the more they are likely to…achieve success” and that “In their early years, the most important feedback children use to form conceptions of their own competence comes from parents.” During these grades, it is especially important for parents to exude a “You-can-do-it” attitude. In lessons, parents need not understand every instruction, but should know which processes the student is to use while practicing. At home, for grades 2-3, the parent should remind the student which process to follow. For grades 4-5, the parent should instead try to help the student remember the process.
THE PARENT’S ROLE DURING GRADES 6 – 8
The early teenage years are often turbulent, as students struggle to form their own identities. In lessons, parents should observe the student’s rate of progress. At home, parents should encourage students to ask their own questions and form their own goals. Students should now have the skills to practice independently. However, they’ll also likely need parents to support them by applauding student efforts while providing a safety net of consequences for both good and bad practice choices.
These turbulent years are the most common time for students to ask to quit lessons. What they often need instead is to learn time management, organization, perseverance, or the ability to fight peer pressure. For many students, these issues arrive at an age where students both reach challenging repertoire and tend to compare themselves to others. Students may react to this perfect storm with apathy, rebellion, or resignation. Tony, for Music Parents’ Guide, writes that “…most children go through a period of time where they must succeed despite themselves.” With encouragement and support, students can turn that apathy, rebellion, and resignation into determination.
THE PARENT’S ROLE DURING GRADES 9 – 12
During these grades, parent helps their student become independent. By grade twelve, the student should be autonomous. Until then, in lessons, parents can continue to show their support simply by being present. At home, parents can help students achieve goals in three main ways: by helping students plan how to achieve those goals, by helping students assess their progress regularly, and by encouraging students. As students decide what they want to pursue as adults, they may want to change how much they focus on music. It can be helpful for parents to initiate these conversations with a plan in mind.
LOOKING BEYOND GRADES & USING THE CHART
The chart below is based on student grade. However, the number of years spent in lessons is also very important. Students need more support initially. The easiest way to adjust the chart for this is to do half the time at each attendance level until caught up to the student’s grade. For example, a student who started in 6th grade should have parents present for one year at all lessons, one year at half the lessons, one year at 1/3 of the lessons, one year at 1/4 of the lessons, 6 months each at 1/5, 1/6, 1/7, and 1/8 of the lessons, by which time the student will be caught up to their grade level.